Mama Kats this week and her writing prompts have got me thinking a lot.

The prompt is “write about a time you disappointed yourself”. 

Urrgh. 

This is a tough one.  To be truthful I have actually wondered whether I would press “publish post” on this one.  Writing is supposed to be honest and open and I’m trying to stretch so…

I try to not be one of those people who live with a lot of regrets and “oh-if only’s”.  That’s how disappointment usually goes isn’t it?  I firmly believe that there is a reason for the things that we go through and they help to shape who we are.  You wouldn’t be who you are if you didn’t have the experiences that you had.  Pardon me as I gag at that catch phrase ‘personal journey’.

I suppose this is a mixture of religion and WAY too much ‘Star Trek’ episodes that discussed the “space, time continuum”.

So I think I’m going to take this as a prompt to navel gaze a bit and be happy with my ending or really should I say my right now.

Here we go…

I went through a rather tumultuous period in my 20’s.  I got married quite young to someone totally unsuitable. 

Unsuitable to the point that I knew as I walked down the aisle that it was a mistake and I should have turned around-but I didn’t. 

I thought about it. 
I stalled a bit. 
I almost turned. 
I then caught a look at all the guests and…went through with it.

I suppose that is where my disappointment lies. 

I’m a strong girl, correction, I’m a strong girl now and I don’t usually worry about what people ultimately think but I guess I did then.

My disappointed is in myself-that I didn’t listen to my little voice.  My little voice knows what it is talking about and has my best interests in mind.  My little voice told me to get out of the situation I was in for a long time before I got the courage to do so.

However, I learned from the experience and ended-up in a great place.  The place I’m in now.

I rebuilt me and then I found the person that I was meant to spend all time with and when things were so great we didn’t think we could get any luckier, we had a little one arrive.
How could you be disappointed when you start and end each day with this?

She is the farthest thing from a disappointment that could exist.

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