Mama Kats this week and her writing prompts have got me thinking a lot.
The prompt is “write about a time you disappointed yourself”.
This is a tough one. To be truthful I have actually wondered whether I would press “publish post” on this one. Writing is supposed to be honest and open and I’m trying to stretch so…
I try to not be one of those people who live with a lot of regrets and “oh-if only’s”. That’s how disappointment usually goes isn’t it? I firmly believe that there is a reason for the things that we go through and they help to shape who we are. You wouldn’t be who you are if you didn’t have the experiences that you had. Pardon me as I gag at that catch phrase ‘personal journey’.
I suppose this is a mixture of religion and WAY too much ‘Star Trek’ episodes that discussed the “space, time continuum”.
So I think I’m going to take this as a prompt to navel gaze a bit and be happy with my ending or really should I say my right now.
Here we go…
I went through a rather tumultuous period in my 20’s. I got married quite young to someone totally unsuitable.
Unsuitable to the point that I knew as I walked down the aisle that it was a mistake and I should have turned around-but I didn’t.
I suppose that is where my disappointment lies.
I’m a strong girl, correction, I’m a strong girl now and I don’t usually worry about what people ultimately think but I guess I did then.
My disappointed is in myself-that I didn’t listen to my little voice. My little voice knows what it is talking about and has my best interests in mind. My little voice told me to get out of the situation I was in for a long time before I got the courage to do so.
However, I learned from the experience and ended-up in a great place. The place I’m in now.
I rebuilt me and then I found the person that I was meant to spend all time with and when things were so great we didn’t think we could get any luckier, we had a little one arrive.
How could you be disappointed when you start and end each day with this?
She is the farthest thing from a disappointment that could exist.
The Vanilla Bean Baker said:
You stretched yourself and wrote a great post and for that you should be proud.Not one to live in the past myself, I do believe that all things happen for a reason, whether we realize it at the time or not…good and bad.I was in the same situation as you when I was 18. Married to a man who I *thought* I loved (as much as one can know about love at 18) I cried when I started to say my wedding vows, so much so that the priest paused for a few moments. In those moments I just wanted my father to come and take me out of the church but I never had the courage to stop the ceremony.From the onset, it was a mistake that I lived in for the next 18 years. It took me that long to get the courage to leave and when I finally had it, I left and never looked back. Nothing outside of that marriage could be as terrible as anything in it. My Faith over the years had matured as I had and to the point that I realized throughout all the *bad* times, God was with me and he would be with me in whatever lay ahead.Life is definitely a journey, sometimes we have to travel on very rough, dark roads and sometimes not a stone nor cloud impedes our way. They're our roads and only our roads to take. If we keep moving and overcome the obstacles one by one, we are becoming that which we are meant to be and we arrive at places in our lives that we are meant to be at the time.I am the person I am today because of everything that has happened in my life to date and because of everyone who has been any part of it.
Yes, I do believe that the disappointments we suffer shape us for the people we are to be. We can either wallow in our mistakes or rise above them as you seem to have done. I believe it took what you had to go through to make the right choice the next time the opportunity had to come around. Kudos to you.
Locavore Family said:
That's definitely a face to love and rejoice about every morning. Thanks for sharing your disappointment; that's always a tough one because you can't go back and change it, just moving forward with a knowledge of how you'd do things differently or be in a better place to avoid it happening again.
Guys! You just can't know how much I appreciate your comments. I was very reticent to write and publish this post. I can't thank you enough.
West of Home, South of Sanity said:
It sounds as though if you HAD listened and acted on your inner voice prompts, you may not have learned as much as you did.Thank you for sharing your story!
Hi from Mama Kat's! I like to think of this as going through what you did to become the person you are. And that is so true – It happened to me too.
I'm new to your blog and this post hit really close to home for me. I have a few different blogs myself, one that is a secret from my hubby because it's about the disappointments in our marriage. Though they started long before we said "I Do." I also regret that walk down the aisle, except for my 3 kids, although 1 we had before marriage. This is a really great post. Thank you so much for sharing. Your newest follower. 🙂
Jean Has Been Shopping said:
Exactly! I could have written this. What a mistake my first marriage was, but it lead to greater things.Happy Labor Day!
This was a great post. You wanna know why I think so? Because of your honesty. It takes a really courageous person to be so open with their readers. Thank you for sharing your story, it inspires me to be more open in my posts.
Thanks so much-it is you all that are inspiring me.